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Oct 10, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 55 - Writer



let me know if you wish to do anything with any of these little plays.  I wrote them and you need my permission.

Writer
by Adam Szymkowicz

JACK
Jill is a writer.

(JILL sits at a typewriter, writes.)

JACK
She writes about a writer.

(A WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
The writer writes about a writer.

(ANOTHER WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
That writer writes about a writer.

(YET ANOTHER WRITER sits at another typewriter and writes)

JACK
And that writer writes about a duck.

(Enter DUCK.)

DUCK
Quack quack.

DUCK WRITER
Says the duck.

DUCK
Quack.  I want something.  Boy do I want something.  I want bread crumbs and open water.  I want a safe nesting place but what I most want, really is to contribute something worthwhile to the world.  I want to write!!

(DUCK sits at typewriter.)

JACK
The duck writes about a writer.


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Oct 9, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 54 - Five Dollars



All rights reserved.  Yes, those rights too.

Five Dollars
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JILL finds five dollars in her jacket pocket.)

JILL
Score!

(Enter JACK.)

JACK
Hey Jill, what's up?

JILL
I've begun the process of freeing my inner me.

JACK
Oh?

JILL
I'm taking back all that was taken from me.

JACK
Hmmm.

JILL
I'm opening all the doors, knocking over all the vases.

JACK
Cool.

JILL
I'm going to love fiercely.

JACK
Good.

JILL
I'm going to eat all the mud.  Vomit up the core.

JACK
Okay.

JILL
I'm going to be the true me.  The full me.  The biggest me.

JACK
Great!

JILL
Also I found five dollars in my pocket!

JACK
Cool!

JILL
What should I spend it on?

JACK
I don't know.  Five dollars!

JILL
Five dollars!
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Oct 8, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 53 - Times Change



play written by me.  All right reserved.  For real.

Times Change
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JILL and a DINOSAUR smoke cigarettes or maybe they vape.)

DINOSAUR
So I said, "No, you're fired!"

JILL
To your boss?

DINOSAUR
Yeah.  It didn't make a lot of sense but it felt good in the moment.

JILL
You just described most of my decisions.

DINOSAUR
Sorry.

JILL
That's nice of you to say.  Sorry about your job.

DINOSAUR
I think this dinosaur wasn't meant to sit behind a desk.

JILL
Sure.

DINOSAUR
This dinosaur was meant to roam free.

JILL
So what then?

DINOSAUR
I'm going to teach English comp and go back on food stamps.

JILL
Solid plan.

DINOSAUR
But maybe something else will come along.

(They both look up at the sky.)

DINOSAUR
Been there a long time, hasn't it?

JILL
It's getting closer.

DINOSAUR
What is it?

JILL
Probably nothing. We can't worry about things that might happen.

DINOSAUR
You think it will smash into us?

JILL
Maybe.  I don't know.  Let's not worry about it.  You want to see a duck who's friends with a kitten?

DINOSAUR
Boy do I!

(JILL plays a video on her phone for DINOSAUR.)


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Oct 7, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 52 - So Hard.



new very short play.  All rights reserved.  That means you must get my permission should you want to do anything with this very short play.

(JACK and JILL.  JACK is opening a bottle of wine.)

So Hard
by Adam Szymkowicz

JACK
It's so hard.

JILL
I know.

JACK
Day in.  Day out.

JILL
I know.

JACK
I can't go on.

JILL
What would you do instead?

JACK
Give up?  Join the circus.

JILL
Circus work is hard work.  Harder than what you do.

JACK
Retire, then.

JILL
You have to work a long time first and make a lot of money.

JACK
Yeah.  Become a bum then.

JILL
You don't want to do that.  You know what you should do?

JACK
No, what?

JILL
Just keep working and stop complaining.

JACK
Yeah.

JILL
I'm tired of it.

JACK
I know.

JILL
Now will you open the bottle of wine?

(JACK finishes opening the bottle.  He pours two glasses.  They toast.  They drink.)

JILL
Right?

JACK
It's pretty good.

JILL
It's really good.

JACK
Maybe I could be a sommelier.

JILL
No.

JACK
What about you?

JILL
I thought you'd never ask.  I'm going to start making oven mitts.

JACK
Oven mitts?

JILL
Yeah.

JACK
Oven mitts?

JILL
Yes.  They are all terrible.  We can do better.  As humans.  We can do so much better.

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Oct 6, 2017

Jack and Jill Plays - Part 51 - Another Year



new play.  don't reproduce or produce without my permission.

Another Year
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JILL is reading a letter or writing a letter she wrote.)

JILL
All The Things I Never Said

One
Some days I can't stand you.

Two
Your kindness makes me cry sometimes.

Three
I wish you would clean out the fridge without me asking.

Four
I don't want to talk about it.

Five
Can one human ever really know another, like really know?

Six
I don't think I'm enough like what I wish I was.

Seven
I'm not enough.

Eight
I can never be what you want me to be.

Nine
Just give me five minutes.

Ten
I just want to take a shower.

Eleven
Make your own food.

Twelve
Are these bad shoes?

Thirteen
I'm gonna stop drinking.

Fourteen
I'm never going to stop drinking.

Fifteen
I hate that I'm mortal.

Sixteen
Don't wake me up.  Just don't.

Seventeen
Another year has passed and I'm no different.

Sigh.




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Oct 5, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 50 - Forbidden Fruit



a new play.  Don't do anything with it before you ask me.  Thanks.

Forbidden Fruit
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL and SNAKE in the garden.  JACK and JILL are not wearing a lot.)


SNAKE
So you gotta eat the fruit.

JACK
I don't want to eat the fruit.  I mean are there cookies.

JILL
Eat the fruit.

SNAKE
Eat it.

JILL
It's good for you.  Look.  I'm eating it too.

JACK
I know.  I just don't want to.

SNAKE
Eat it!

JILL
For once will you just make a better choice?  I'm tired of all the bad choices you make.

JACK
Fine.  Fine.  Look.  I'm eating it.  See?

JILL
It's good, right?

JACK
It's good.

SNAKE
I'll see you guys later.

(Exit SNAKE.)

JACK
Wait a minute.  Were we allowed to eat this fruit?

JILL
Why wouldn't be allowed to eat fruit.

JACK
I feel like someone told me something about the fruit over here.

JILL
Maybe.

JACK
I'm almost sure.

JILL
Do you feel different after eating it?

JACK
A little.  Like I know better that I don't know anything.

JILL
Harmless.

JACK
Are you cold?

JILL
A little.

JACK
We should put something on.

JILL
Okay.

JACK
You think we could get in trouble?  For eating it?

JILL
I know!   We'll write a note.  Take this down.

(JAKE gets paper and writes.)

JILL
This is just to say

We have eaten
The fruits
that were on
the tree

and which
we think we were probably
not supposed
to eat

Forgive us
They were pretty good
and we feel
only a little different

JACK
Good.  I'll put it under the rock.

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Oct 4, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 49 - Prague



this is my play.  all rights reserved.  (so like if you want to do something with it, ask me first.)

Prague
by Adam Szymkowicz

(JACK and JILL sitting on the grass.)

JILL
I feel like this moment right here--

JACK
This moment?

JILL
Yeah.  It might be one I remember forever.  It all depends on what you say next.

(A long pause.)

JACK
That's too much pressure.

JILL
Or maybe I'll think of us and remember sitting on the grass, listening to the birds, not doing anything.

JACK
Maybe.

JILL
When I'm so busy someday maybe I'll remember this.

JACK
I'll remember Prague.

JILL
Prague.  Sure.  Prague.  (pause) I am sorry.

JACK
Let's not talk about it.

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Oct 3, 2017

Jack And Jill Plays - Part 48 - Raccoon



a short play.  don't do anything with it unless you ask me first, you know?

Raccoon
by Adam Szymkowicz


(JACK is playing with a slinky.  Enter JILL.)

JILL
Hey Jack.

JACK
Hey Jill.

JILL
Did you know we'll all die someday?

JACK
I didn't know that.  Can we come back as raccoons?

JILL
Yes.

JACK
Cool.

JILL
Also--

JACK
What?

JILL
I'm sleeping with Sarah.

JACK
Oh.  I always liked Sarah.

JILL
Me too.  Me too.  That's why we did some nasty together.  It's over now of course.  Which is why I'm telling you.

JACK
To upset me.

JILL
To feel better.

JACK
Oh.

JILL
But yeah, I guess I upset you, huh?

JACK
Yeah.  You did do that.  Ow.  It feels like pain.  A little.  Ow.  Mmm.  Oh.  I'm gonna go then.

JILL
What?

JACK
I'm moving out.

JILL
Why so?

JACK
Betrayal.

JILL
Oh.

JACK
I dislike betrayal.

JILL
I see.

JACK
So I'm moving out.

JILL
I shouldn't have told you.

JACK
I don't know.  Yeah.  Maybe.  I've been thinking about The Stranger and I think.  I think.  He just shouldn't have shot the Arab.

JILL
I see that.  I see that.  Sure.  So you'll move out?

JACK
Yeah.  I feel like I should yell things but I don't feel like it.

JILL
Okay.

JACK
I'm taking the TV.

JILL
Yeah.  I get that.

(JACK exits dejected.)

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